Thursday 21 February 2013

Should Christians use reproductive technologies?

A good well considered article from the Village church in Dallas, Texas helping Christians to think about some of the issues surrounding IVF and other reproductive technologies. These were many of the things we considered in our decision to finally go for IVF. It is worth knowing that the issue of more than two babies implanting would be extremely rare in the UK since one embryo only is recommended and Two are the maximum allowed. Also in the UK Doctors seem to be more concerned with quality than quantity of eggs collected and 8 seems to be a common number. This still gives the potential for 8 embryos. We discussed thoroughly with our embryologist our refusal to discard embryos regardless of quality and they were more than happy to accommodate our request to allow the embryos to develop and store at the ten cell stage (this gives them a better chance of survival), obviously we had committed ourselves to replacing all embryos we had created back into the body also. Our other embryos did not survive as they naturally stopped dividing after four cells but we were happy that they were given the best chance for survival.

http://www.thevillagechurch.net/sermon/should-christians-use-contraceptive-methods-and-reproductive-technologies/

Monday 18 February 2013

Out of a woman's heart

As I read Marks gospel yesterday, Jesus reminded me;

"There is nothing outside a person that by going into him can defile him, but the things that come out of a person are what defile him."

I've seen in my my thoughts and actions recently attitudes that look nothing like Jesus. Aren't we supposed to look more like him as we mature, I most certainly feel less like him than ever. How is this possible, has the sleep deprivation and the exhaustion of motherhood caused this? No. Jesus tells me that it comes from within me, out of my heart. These attitudes, the propensity for bitterness, selfishness, jealousy are all there in my heart, my circumstance merely provides the opportunity for them to surface. The fact that I hadn't expected it probably just shows that I still haven't comprehended the extent of my own sinfulness. But the more I see my sin, the more I realise my need for grace and the sweeter the gospel becomes. I have been trying to operate too much in my own strength, how could I forget so quickly that apart from him I can do nothing.

Wednesday 13 February 2013

Where hope is found.

My blog was originally called 'Where hope is found' I started writing at a very difficult time in my life and I knew that hope, real hope could be found no where else but in Jesus. My need was not to have a baby, therefore my ultimate hope was not simply to become a mother. My need was, and still is, to know more of God and become more like Jesus.

It's funny how now as a mother of 14 month old twins I find myself having to be reminded of the same lessons that I learned during those six years of infertility. It's the times when we feel hard pressed that I find we either drift or press into The Lord and I hope that I can do the latter. I am struggling now. Of course outwardly it is very different than before but the reality is the same as before. The question is this "do I really know and believe that God is truly good and does good?" Do I really trust what Romans 8 tells me?

If I had to sum up the past 14 months in one word it would be this: hard. It has been incredibly hard. It has got easier and now feels manageable but there were times (long periods of time) when I felt overwhelmed and didn't know how I could keep going (mostly due to the severe sleep deprivation!). Some of those old questions about the goodness of Gods plan have been revealed again in me over the past couple of weeks since some of my friends have had babies. I am so happy for them but spending time around them and seeing them able to enjoy those early weeks has actually been really hard. I know that this is simply evidence of the pride and self centredness in my own heart. I have felt a mixture of jealousy and guilt. Guilt that I feel jealous! God has been so gracious to me, how could I even for a second think his gifts to me aren't the best!

I am grateful that God is revealing my heart to me and I pray that he will change it. Working things like this through with him is so much harder now than during infertility. I never would have imagined that but it is most certainly the case. the times with the Lord that would really impact on my life were those times when I would withdraw, just him and me, devoting time to just sit in his presence. That now seems impossible but thank God that he still speaks in all circumstance regardless of me! It's a good job he gave me those six years as I definitely would not have been prepared for this without them.

The gospel is the answer to my current struggles just as it was the answer when I so desperately wanted to be a mother. Thank you Lord for your gospel of grace, please help me show grace to others.