They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength

We are now in a period of waiting to see if the whole IVF procedure has been successful, or rather whether God has chosen to use this to create and sustain life.  On Wednesday we had two grade B embryos transferred, we left the remaining 3 embryos in culture in an attemt to let them reach the blastocyte stage so they had more chance of survival when frozen.  We found out this morning that those three embryos didn't make it.  The quality of the embryos is similar but slightly less than those transferred last time but we feel much more hopeful.  On transfer day I didn't feel nervous at all, just excited and it was amazing to see our embryos on the microscope screen before transfer.  The best bit about Wednesday was that I'd prayed for a chance to speak to other patients (this is rare because it's such a private situation people usually just talk to their partners and you have curtains around your little area making it very difficult anyway) and we got it, we got to speak to the couple who had been in for egg retrival on Monday with us.  We didn't get as far as talking about Jesus but I was able to reassure her and hopefully make her feel a little less nervous.

So now we just have to wait and see what happens.  A great opportunity to trust God and to take thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ.  I want to press into God just as much in the upcoming weeks as I have done these past few days - more even.  This process forces me to remember the ultimate goal, which is not to have children but to be conformed into the image of Christ (Romans 8:29, Ephesians 1:5).  It is strange, you might think it would work in the opposite way, but God has really answered out prayer that our hope would be in Him, not in this process.  I started feeling dizzy last night so I went back to the ARU today to get checked out, they ruled out the really nasty stuff, did a few tests and think it is likely the high levels of progesterone now in my body.  Hopefully it will pass soon.  So I want to use this time, when I can do little other than sit really still, to get to know more of Him and I hope for any other women in my situation God might be revealling Himself to them also.