The twins have arrived

The twins are now a week old.  Their arrival has hit us like a ton of bricks.  Of course I keep looking at them and pinching myself and thanking God for his graciousness but this is by far and without doubt the hardest thing me and my husband have ever faced.  I did not know that the human body could survive on such small amounts of sleep. Then there is the worrying.  Our babies have had a few issues which have made it worse.  Trusting God has never been so tangibly necessary or harder to do being so tired.  So far my husband and I have not had our mini breakdowns at the same time so we have been able to support one another, reminding each other of our progressive sanctification and what God might be teaching us.
We have needed a lot of help, this has been good for killing pride, I look a mess and have had to admit I can't do this alone.  I have been particularly overwhelmed by the support of a friend who has twins and is pregnant again.  She has been checking in on me daily and has been offering advice reassurance and encouragement.  She even offered to come overnight to help.  I had no idea how hard it was for them when they had twins, I didn't stop to think.  I was most likely thinking about myself wishing I was in their position.  It's true Gods timing is perfect, there is no way we had the spiritual maturity to be parents of twins before infertility. So I've had to repent to God and maybe to people about my attitude when others had babies. I did not do Philippians 2. I did not support them well and I even judged some for finding it so hard and not seeming to appreciate it enough. This is to my shame. Tonight has been better, no doubt because of the Lord responding to our prayers and the prayers of our Christian community. I currently have 2 sleeping babies laying on my knee in bed after a 4 am snack for them and daddy is thankfully sleeping too as he has been generously been taking the settling down, nappy change and top up feeding shifts and letting me get some sleep for an hour or so while he deals with the screaming. Thank you Jesus for these boys and thank you for your work of making us more like you. way